I suspect my previous post may have come off a little harsh, and ended up saying almost exactly the opposite of what I was trying to say.
What I meant was, don't worry about it. Unless you're a total jerk who is 100% caught up in your own needs and doesn't know how to listen at all, you're probably fine. Seriously, you can be up to 70% caught up in your own needs, and you'll still probably do fine. Also that nobody, at any time, is completely divorced from meeting their own needs, so it's an unreasonable thing to ask.
What I meant was, our expectations of what people should say to us during difficult times are too high, and we should take it down a notch. Focus on the intent, not the content.